Thursday 8 May 2014

England's Mission Impossible

There have been some ever-so-slightly sensationalist reports about England's 'injury crisis' in the last 24 hours, with the combined effect of crocks and the premiership final meaning that a very difficult task for England, namely beating New Zealand in New Zealand, is rapidly becoming an impossible one. In fact, the first test is looking a lot like trying to play snooker with a rope at this point.

I say 'slightly' because the injury reports focus on the following names: Tom Youngs (not technically injured, but staying home with his ill wife. Quite right too, and my best wishes to them), Tom Croft, Alex Corbisiero, Jack Nowell, Christian Wade and Billy Twelvetrees. Of those, Croft, Corbisiero and Wade have been out for ages. England played a full 6 Nations without any of them and only narrowly missed out on winning it. They can cope, although (and with all due respect) the All Blacks are likely to present just a slightly sterner challenge than Scotland or Italy. Or even Ireland or Wales, for that matter.

Of the others, Nowell is capable but not world-set-alighting, not yet anyway, and there are other wingers on form vying for his place. He may not have started. The fact that Twelvetrees might miss all three games is concerning but there are other options at 12, not least Brad Barritt, who has tasted victory against the All Blacks before, and Luther Burrell, who plays 12 regularly for Northampton.

But then you look at the front row and you start to get seriously worried. There is not so much a crisis there as a scrummaging double-dip recession. Youngs would have played, at least from the bench, and first choice hooker Hartley is himself coming back from a shoulder injury, although expected to be fit. England's third choice hooker, Rob Webber, went down at the weekend for Bath. If the Saints make the premiership final, England will be fielding their FOURTH choice hooker against the best team in the world (possibly of any sport at any time ever, although that is another can of worms for another day) on their home turf. Ouch. I don't even know who England's fourth choice hooker IS. (David Paice, apparently.)

Then there are the props. First-choicers Corbisiero and Cole are out, and we've known that for a while. Although England do, at least, have cover in the loose in Joe Marler and Mako Vunipola (although a Quins v Saracens final is not totally out of the question and would take them both out of the first test) the tight options aren't exactly world-beating, although the same as the ones England finished the 6 Nations with. An injury to Dave Wilson at this point would be nothing short of disastrous.

Back to the first test. It's difficult to avoid the conclusion that England will be coming from 1-0 down. It's not just the front row. If we assume hypothetically that the premiership final will be contested by Saracens and Leicester, then there go Owen Farrell, Brad Barritt, Alex Goode, Chris Ashton, Ben Youngs, Manu Tuilagi and Anthony Allen from any potential back row, not to mention the likes of both Vuniploas, Matt Stevens, Geoff Parling and Ed Slater from the pack. Quins making the final would render Danny Care, Chris Robshaw, Joe Marler and Mike Brown more useless than a fire proof match. Saints do well and there go Hartley, Lawes, Wood, Dickson, Myler, Burrell and Foden.

To sum up: this really is a no-win situation for Lancaster and you wonder how the organisers could have let it happen. For any England fans with plane tickets to New Zealand, especially front-rowers, I'd consider taking your boots. There's every chance you'll get a game. If England manage to win even ONCE, however (especially given the front row), then who'd be willing to bet against their world cup hopes?

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