Two games down, and it looks distinctly as if the 6 Nations will be decided in the next round. That's not hard and fast, obviously, nothing ever is in this competition. Unlike that southern one, which is always won by the men in black. Which is ironic, given that they play like some alien species specifically evolved to expertly handle egg-shaped pieces of leather with each of their four limbs, and probably a few more the rest of us haven't seen yet. Anyway, we should have a clear idea of the trophies destination after the two remaining unbeaten sides - Ireland and England - get together in Dublin.
As far as England are concerned, the game plan will have its reset button poked with a paper clip. Imperious in the second half against Wales, far too many tackles were missed against an Italian side who, to be fair, have more chance of brokering a bailout deal with Greece that involves offsetting feta against the Euro than they do of consistently winning games in 6N right now. Johnny May's defence, in particular, is cause for concern and that stretches back to the Wales game and, indeed, beyond. (I'd like to point out that I wrote that before the reports in todays press, 18/2/15.) Score a peregrine falcon of a try against NZ he may have done, but that was a few games back and he's been leaking tries over his own line since. I would, therefore, not be surprised to see Jack Nowell - blessed as he is with considerably less speed but far greater tackling technique - peering hopefully over Stuart Lancasters shoulder as he writes his team down. (And that.) And I can't stand wingers or full backs who insist on wearing bloody scrum caps. Defensive frailties aside, the Ford/Joseph axis is clearly working and Twelvetrees is playing like a man possessed by a tiger possessed by a wasp whenever his boots hit grass. England's midfield prospects look optimistic for the first time in bloody ages, and long may it continue.
Ireland may not quite have hit the heights they managed in the autumn but they are tactically probably the most astute team in this hemisphere, channelling Joe Schmidt's spirit on to the field like so many bulked-up, inexplicably angry Derren Browns. They are always fiercely combative and have the likes of Sexton and O'Brien back playing, which helps them no end. Sexton, especially, is cutting a crucial figure. England would not be sorry to see him ruled out after he decided that the baby elephant that is Matieu Bastareaud needed a good head butting, but as that seems unlikely, England will have to make do with Jamie Heaslip after Pascal Pape took it upon himself to give a chiropractic demonstration in the 2nd half. Pape will be lucky to play again in the tournament. The game in Dublin, though, will feature the tournaments most ruthless defence so far standing off against a lightning-quick centre who neither knows nor cares what tackling is, or how it might stop him scoring tries. Intrigue abounds.
Of the other two Celtic nations, Wales will be glad for the win under their belt whereas Scotland will be looking for someone who can exorcise the Murrayfield goal lines for them. The finishing ineptitude of the Scots aside (and Vern Cotter really will be tearing his hair... oh) the games main talking point has, regrettably, come in the shape of the ref. Two tackles in the air, two yellow cards, although they were at opposite ends of the yellow spectrum (can you have a spectrum of just one colour?) and only one of the offending players, Scottish 10 Finn Russell, has been cited. While it is now undoubtedly the guy on the floors responsibility not to take out the guy in the air, Russell was exactly where he was supposed to be defensively, did not force Dan Biggar into a salmon impersonation, tried to avoid any collision, and generally should be afforded some measure of sympathy. The severity of punishment meted for these challenges seems to depend entirely on which body part the challengee lands on rather than anything the challenger does - intentionally or otherwise - and lets be honest it's something the authorities should be clarifying and sorting out. After scrums. Do scrums first.
Seriously, do the bloody scrums.*
Meanwhile, France were rubbish and it rained in London.
Bring on Dublin!
* As a sort-of afterthought, and in an attempt to bring some serious rugby discussion to these pages, here's some thoughts about what could be done to sort the scrums out. Hopefully they will back up my whinging a bit.
We know what the problems are: they take effing forever, the laws regarding the feed are not even bloody recognised anymore, never mind policed, and teams (at least in the Northern hemisphere) use them as a way of gaining a penalty, rather than a platform to restart open play.
The first two are solved pretty easily: put a time limit on them (like there is already on penalty kicks and conversions) and TELL REFEREES TO MAKE SCRUM HALVES FEED IT STRAIGHT. Seriously, that issue is one of the most ridiculous things in sport, never mind rugby. Get tough on it, there is simply no reason to let it slide as it has.
The penalty thing is more difficult. The reason why teams go for penalties is the territory gain associated with having the throw in at the resultant line out. Even in the middle of the pitch, this is seen as more of an advantage than ball-in-hand possession simply because of the metres gained. The only way to stop teams going for it is to remove this incentive. So my suggestion is this:
Downgrade ALL scrum penalty offences to free kicks, UNLESS awarded to a defending team inside their own 22.
This removes attacking penalties completely but retains the reward for an excellent scrum by a defending pack on their own try line. Granted it's not a perfect fix, but it'd be more than a start.
I'm going to email world rugby immediately, letting them know when I can start my new job as head of world rugby refereeing.
As far as England are concerned, the game plan will have its reset button poked with a paper clip. Imperious in the second half against Wales, far too many tackles were missed against an Italian side who, to be fair, have more chance of brokering a bailout deal with Greece that involves offsetting feta against the Euro than they do of consistently winning games in 6N right now. Johnny May's defence, in particular, is cause for concern and that stretches back to the Wales game and, indeed, beyond. (I'd like to point out that I wrote that before the reports in todays press, 18/2/15.) Score a peregrine falcon of a try against NZ he may have done, but that was a few games back and he's been leaking tries over his own line since. I would, therefore, not be surprised to see Jack Nowell - blessed as he is with considerably less speed but far greater tackling technique - peering hopefully over Stuart Lancasters shoulder as he writes his team down. (And that.) And I can't stand wingers or full backs who insist on wearing bloody scrum caps. Defensive frailties aside, the Ford/Joseph axis is clearly working and Twelvetrees is playing like a man possessed by a tiger possessed by a wasp whenever his boots hit grass. England's midfield prospects look optimistic for the first time in bloody ages, and long may it continue.
Ireland may not quite have hit the heights they managed in the autumn but they are tactically probably the most astute team in this hemisphere, channelling Joe Schmidt's spirit on to the field like so many bulked-up, inexplicably angry Derren Browns. They are always fiercely combative and have the likes of Sexton and O'Brien back playing, which helps them no end. Sexton, especially, is cutting a crucial figure. England would not be sorry to see him ruled out after he decided that the baby elephant that is Matieu Bastareaud needed a good head butting, but as that seems unlikely, England will have to make do with Jamie Heaslip after Pascal Pape took it upon himself to give a chiropractic demonstration in the 2nd half. Pape will be lucky to play again in the tournament. The game in Dublin, though, will feature the tournaments most ruthless defence so far standing off against a lightning-quick centre who neither knows nor cares what tackling is, or how it might stop him scoring tries. Intrigue abounds.
Of the other two Celtic nations, Wales will be glad for the win under their belt whereas Scotland will be looking for someone who can exorcise the Murrayfield goal lines for them. The finishing ineptitude of the Scots aside (and Vern Cotter really will be tearing his hair... oh) the games main talking point has, regrettably, come in the shape of the ref. Two tackles in the air, two yellow cards, although they were at opposite ends of the yellow spectrum (can you have a spectrum of just one colour?) and only one of the offending players, Scottish 10 Finn Russell, has been cited. While it is now undoubtedly the guy on the floors responsibility not to take out the guy in the air, Russell was exactly where he was supposed to be defensively, did not force Dan Biggar into a salmon impersonation, tried to avoid any collision, and generally should be afforded some measure of sympathy. The severity of punishment meted for these challenges seems to depend entirely on which body part the challengee lands on rather than anything the challenger does - intentionally or otherwise - and lets be honest it's something the authorities should be clarifying and sorting out. After scrums. Do scrums first.
Seriously, do the bloody scrums.*
Meanwhile, France were rubbish and it rained in London.
Bring on Dublin!
* As a sort-of afterthought, and in an attempt to bring some serious rugby discussion to these pages, here's some thoughts about what could be done to sort the scrums out. Hopefully they will back up my whinging a bit.
We know what the problems are: they take effing forever, the laws regarding the feed are not even bloody recognised anymore, never mind policed, and teams (at least in the Northern hemisphere) use them as a way of gaining a penalty, rather than a platform to restart open play.
The first two are solved pretty easily: put a time limit on them (like there is already on penalty kicks and conversions) and TELL REFEREES TO MAKE SCRUM HALVES FEED IT STRAIGHT. Seriously, that issue is one of the most ridiculous things in sport, never mind rugby. Get tough on it, there is simply no reason to let it slide as it has.
The penalty thing is more difficult. The reason why teams go for penalties is the territory gain associated with having the throw in at the resultant line out. Even in the middle of the pitch, this is seen as more of an advantage than ball-in-hand possession simply because of the metres gained. The only way to stop teams going for it is to remove this incentive. So my suggestion is this:
Downgrade ALL scrum penalty offences to free kicks, UNLESS awarded to a defending team inside their own 22.
This removes attacking penalties completely but retains the reward for an excellent scrum by a defending pack on their own try line. Granted it's not a perfect fix, but it'd be more than a start.
I'm going to email world rugby immediately, letting them know when I can start my new job as head of world rugby refereeing.
