'A tight-head prop! A tight-head prop! My Kingdom for a tight-head prop!' is what Shakespeare almost certainly would have written, had Richard III been a known fan of Rugby Union and found himself in Stuart Lancaster's current position (unlikely: Richard, along with the rest of the House of York, was a colossal pervert who wore a white rose, not a red one, which as we know is incompatible with the laws of nature.
And cricket. Especially cricket.)
Anyway, the best laid schemes o' mice and top-level elite front-row scrummagers gang aft to bollocks (as Robbie Burns was quoted as saying, before changing it to be more inclusive) and rarely has a side won the 6 Nations without having to fill someone's injury-vacated boots. It is the performance of those that replace, not the replacee, that now matter, but it is a sign of the regard in which Dan Cole is held and his importance as a stalwart of this England team that papers were opened on Monday morning all over England with a groan and a wince. Cole has, for the last 2 years, been one of the first names on the team sheet, and with Cian Healy now looming like some sort of grisly green giant on the south-west London skyline, it would be preferable not to have to play one of either a returning crock or a 5 year-old boy. If we accept that Corbisiero would also be playing if fit (although Joe Marler has been filling his boots with aplomb), this means that England will be going into a crucial match with only one-third of a first choice front-row. And try saying that ten times fast.
Davey Wilson, his replacement, will at the very least be expected to hold his own physically in the loose. It is the scrum and maul that will have the greater bearing on the outcome though, and for that (I'm told) you need a bit more between the ears and actual technical skill. Or something. Because let's face it, if it was all physical, you just chuck Wilson on. I mean he's... he's got a torso like... just Google him. See? The Irish are world-weary and battle hardened, and come fresh from physically pulverising an equally world-weary and battle-hardened Welsh pack. The English, by contrast, are a relatively callow lot but have proved they can mix it with the best. They will now be hoping that the tight-head issue does not present Ireland (and specifically Cian Healy) with a match-surrenderingly weak link.
The other area where England must improve (and this is pretty well documented) is how strongly, or otherwise, they finish games. I've already harked already on about Tom Youngs' line-out throwing, but England are now making far too much of a habit of not scoring at all in the last quarter. You can't expect to win any tight games like that, and England, consequently, haven't won any tight games since Australia in the Autumn, a game in which the Wallabies failed to score in the second half full stop. The moral here, I suppose, is that the only tight games you can expect to win by not scoring in the final quarter are those in which you stop your opponents scoring in EITHER the 3rd or 4th quarters. Or all of them, to take the lesson to it's logical and futile conclusion. To this end, England have replaced Brad Barritt with George Ford on the bench, and I have to admit I'm salivating at the prospect of that lad (I'm allowed to say that: he's two years younger than I am) running at tired defenders with Farrell shifting to inside centre. If Barritt is parking the bus, then Ford is like chucking Messi on with 20 minutes left.
Meanwhile, and away from the game in question, Rugby League's Sam Burgess will be seeing the light, switching his codes and moving to Bath next season. He is expected to play centre, where England will suddenly be over-endowed in massive, speedy, wrecking-ball off-loading types. Manu Tuilagi is, we are told, not now far from a return but unlikely to feature in the tournament. With the Samoan tank-impressionist still to come back, Luther Burrell playing like he is and one of the best players of League in the world switching with the express desire of playing in the world cup, how Lancaster fits any, all, or something of a juggernaut-combo into his back line will be interesting, to say the least. In the end, the guy who comes out on top will probably be the one who proves he can do more than simply run over people, although sometimes that's the best way. Ask Dan Carter.
Across the water, Ireland have been quietly impressive so far, although their preferred tactics in their last game (namely, grinding down the opposition forwards, as if the Aviva Stadium were some sort of gargantuan mortar to Paul O'Connells monumental pestle) might hold rather less water against England at Twickenham than against Scotland and Wales in Dublin. A weak link there may well be, but there may well not be either (there's nothing to stop Wilson smashing Healy like an orange if both players are in the mood) and if there is, the only real opportunity to turn that hypothetically dodgy link into a corporeally recognisable points benefit is at scrum time. You never know, there might not be any knock-ons. The forecast looks good. My point is that Ireland will surely have more of a plan than 'put the fat guy on his arse' and that that may well involve increased involvement from their backs. They've been good, all of them, but Sexton aside they've not been setting the world alight in a trail-blazing dragon-blast of unstoppable attacking rugby fire. In fact their game plan against Wales was almost surprisingly one-dimensional, but with Joe Schimdt pulling the strings your money is on the Irish to know what they're about against anyone, anywhere.
I'm looking forward to this one, and at Twickenham I'm going to have to back... Ireland.
Reverse mockers, you see. None of my calls come true...
And cricket. Especially cricket.)
Anyway, the best laid schemes o' mice and top-level elite front-row scrummagers gang aft to bollocks (as Robbie Burns was quoted as saying, before changing it to be more inclusive) and rarely has a side won the 6 Nations without having to fill someone's injury-vacated boots. It is the performance of those that replace, not the replacee, that now matter, but it is a sign of the regard in which Dan Cole is held and his importance as a stalwart of this England team that papers were opened on Monday morning all over England with a groan and a wince. Cole has, for the last 2 years, been one of the first names on the team sheet, and with Cian Healy now looming like some sort of grisly green giant on the south-west London skyline, it would be preferable not to have to play one of either a returning crock or a 5 year-old boy. If we accept that Corbisiero would also be playing if fit (although Joe Marler has been filling his boots with aplomb), this means that England will be going into a crucial match with only one-third of a first choice front-row. And try saying that ten times fast.
Davey Wilson, his replacement, will at the very least be expected to hold his own physically in the loose. It is the scrum and maul that will have the greater bearing on the outcome though, and for that (I'm told) you need a bit more between the ears and actual technical skill. Or something. Because let's face it, if it was all physical, you just chuck Wilson on. I mean he's... he's got a torso like... just Google him. See? The Irish are world-weary and battle hardened, and come fresh from physically pulverising an equally world-weary and battle-hardened Welsh pack. The English, by contrast, are a relatively callow lot but have proved they can mix it with the best. They will now be hoping that the tight-head issue does not present Ireland (and specifically Cian Healy) with a match-surrenderingly weak link.
The other area where England must improve (and this is pretty well documented) is how strongly, or otherwise, they finish games. I've already harked already on about Tom Youngs' line-out throwing, but England are now making far too much of a habit of not scoring at all in the last quarter. You can't expect to win any tight games like that, and England, consequently, haven't won any tight games since Australia in the Autumn, a game in which the Wallabies failed to score in the second half full stop. The moral here, I suppose, is that the only tight games you can expect to win by not scoring in the final quarter are those in which you stop your opponents scoring in EITHER the 3rd or 4th quarters. Or all of them, to take the lesson to it's logical and futile conclusion. To this end, England have replaced Brad Barritt with George Ford on the bench, and I have to admit I'm salivating at the prospect of that lad (I'm allowed to say that: he's two years younger than I am) running at tired defenders with Farrell shifting to inside centre. If Barritt is parking the bus, then Ford is like chucking Messi on with 20 minutes left.
Meanwhile, and away from the game in question, Rugby League's Sam Burgess will be seeing the light, switching his codes and moving to Bath next season. He is expected to play centre, where England will suddenly be over-endowed in massive, speedy, wrecking-ball off-loading types. Manu Tuilagi is, we are told, not now far from a return but unlikely to feature in the tournament. With the Samoan tank-impressionist still to come back, Luther Burrell playing like he is and one of the best players of League in the world switching with the express desire of playing in the world cup, how Lancaster fits any, all, or something of a juggernaut-combo into his back line will be interesting, to say the least. In the end, the guy who comes out on top will probably be the one who proves he can do more than simply run over people, although sometimes that's the best way. Ask Dan Carter.
Across the water, Ireland have been quietly impressive so far, although their preferred tactics in their last game (namely, grinding down the opposition forwards, as if the Aviva Stadium were some sort of gargantuan mortar to Paul O'Connells monumental pestle) might hold rather less water against England at Twickenham than against Scotland and Wales in Dublin. A weak link there may well be, but there may well not be either (there's nothing to stop Wilson smashing Healy like an orange if both players are in the mood) and if there is, the only real opportunity to turn that hypothetically dodgy link into a corporeally recognisable points benefit is at scrum time. You never know, there might not be any knock-ons. The forecast looks good. My point is that Ireland will surely have more of a plan than 'put the fat guy on his arse' and that that may well involve increased involvement from their backs. They've been good, all of them, but Sexton aside they've not been setting the world alight in a trail-blazing dragon-blast of unstoppable attacking rugby fire. In fact their game plan against Wales was almost surprisingly one-dimensional, but with Joe Schimdt pulling the strings your money is on the Irish to know what they're about against anyone, anywhere.
I'm looking forward to this one, and at Twickenham I'm going to have to back... Ireland.
Reverse mockers, you see. None of my calls come true...
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