Thursday, 1 February 2018

6 Nations 2018: The Force Wakes Up, Thinks 'Nah Sack It', and Goes Back to Bed.

Another year, another miserable misty January disappearing under the glow of 6 Nations rugby. Who will win? Who will collect yet another wooden spoon in aid of their already thriving baking industry? Who will start the last game with a full 23 players in the match-day squad? My ill-judged, ill-informed and generally nonsense musings on some or all of these questions are summed up as follows. 

England

'Crisis? What crisis?' was the incredulous assessment of Italy coach Connor O'Shea, who would kill for a team that could have 18 (potentially) (since confirmed as a number lower than 18) absentees and still field 8 British Lions. England's problem isn't necessarily the number of injuries as the number of injuries in 2 positions, however; for all their depth they are one more injury away from starting they're 6th choice (at best) loose-head in the 6 nations. Given the impact that could potentially have - especially at scrums - and Eddie Jones could be forgiven for hiring a squad of ex-special services bodyguards to shadow Mako Vunipola until Joe Marler's latest suspension expires.

The back row looks easier to cover, with Simmonds in rampaging-tiger form for Exeter and Underhill looking good in the autumn until he decided to head-but an Argentinean hip. Itoje and Lawes have both played 6. It is the front row, the Irish and Murrayfield that are the obvious banana skins on the way to a 3rd successive title.

France

It feels like every year I have to upgrade the sentence 'they can't possibly be any more of a mess than they are now'. France, who have very much been the France of post-millennial rugby, could buy Trump tower with the money in their league. The shame is their team looks increasingly like his government, they play alternative rugby (POLITICS JOKE!!) and generally make a total hash of it. They were lucky to draw with Japan, and this lead to the unceremonial guillotining of then coach Guy Noves along with the unceremonial dropping of most of the team. Apparently now, they've found this amazing 19 year old fly-half who would be the saviour of Gallic egg-chasing, but he can't be because they run the game from 9.

Their problems now include but are not limited to: not knowing their best team, not having a game plan, having a new coach, not having as much training time with their team as other nations and away trips to Scotland and Wales. The smart money is on a recall for Frederick Michalak and a resurgence of Racing's bow-tie kit. Complete with champagne at half time. Would anyone be surprised?  

Ireland

If England are leading the 'my injury list is bigger than yours' competition, other teams with less depth are also feeling the pinch and Ireland have problems of their own. The current toll sits at 11, with Sean O'Brien, Jamie Heaslip and Gary Ringrose among those keeping physio's benches warm.

Though Ireland beat England last year and played a full part in helping the Lions to not-lose against New Zealand, their away form in the 6N has been poor in much the same way that Mark Zuckerberg isn't. I.e. very. Ireland have 3 matches at home but play England at Twickenham, on the last day of the tournament, and quite what the state of either side will be by then is anyone's guess. I've not played loose-head before but I'll be keeping my boots (which I haven't yet bought) handy.

Italy

One of 2 traditional 'easy' games for the bigger nations in this tournament, Italy were slightly later than Scotland in restructuring their domestic game in an attempt to benefit the national side. This all comes from the top-down: Connor O'Shea is not just running the national side but all of Italian rugby. Treviso have become Benetton, and passion is now being allied with cautious optimism.

The question remaining is how long it will take for results to make it back from Stadio Olympico with any consistency. You can't win games without quality players and unfortunately, on paper at least, Italy are simply the worst team in the tournament (despite having the best food. Hands down. I will brook no argument; France can do one.) Despite this, O'Shea has warned that his side will not die wondering, and scribes and scholars the rugby world over have been up late into the winter evenings, pouring over the laws by candlelight to try and find the next 'no offside line' loophole that will make England look like dicks for 40 minutes.

Scotland

Injury news: Scotland have injuries. Specially in the front row, where no short of 8 part-rhinoceroses will not be locking horns with anyone else any time soon. Scottish ambition has moved on in the last 5 years, however. After a decade of watching forwards repeatedly batter at the line 5 metres out and get no closer, someone suggested that the backs might like to have a crack. And it turns out they're a bit handy.

The biggest statement of pre-tournament intent from Edinburgh has come in the naming of the captain: not Greig Laidlaw, but John Barclay. Extrapolating from basic principles leads you to the conclusion that Laidlaw will not be starting at 9, with live-wire and Finn Russell club-mate Ali Price looking favourite. All the backline now has a very Glasgow feel to it, and they can do things like this (skip to 1:35):

Make no mistake, Scotland will have a say on who wins this tournament, one way or another.

Wales

Injury news: yes. Warburton, Lydiate, Davies, Biggar, Webb, Faletau. Wales have also expanded their ambition but there has always been the suspicion that the team hadn't quite settled into it, or perhaps that selection was one or two players awry. Some scintillating running - most notably against New Zealand away - has been mixed up with being, well, er, iffy. Offloading to fresh air and the like. With their first 3 matches against Scotland, England and Ireland, the fear amongst Welsh fans will be that their title challenge will be over before it has begun.

That said, you never write them off. If Glasgow have been good in Scotland, the Scarlets have been excellent in Wales. The talent is there for Warren Gatland if he can harness it, with the likes of Rhys Patchell looking to make a name for himself on a bigger stage. If some of the relatively inexperienced players can shine this far out from the World Cup, the attrition rate may turn out to be a blessing in disguise for more than one nation.

Predictions

Most are billing this as a 2 horse race between England and Ireland, egged on by World Rugby rankings that mean about as much as a French limerick. France usually win after a Lions year but look a shambles. Wales are always dangerous but have suffered from a lack of confidence in recent years. Can Scotland do better than their 3 wins last year? When trying to seriously predict a winner it is tough to look beyond the final day showdown between England and Ireland, but as this tournament has delighted in stuffing predictions up peoples noses for years, stick your money on Scotland. You'll get better odds.

(England will win.)

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